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Showing posts with label trying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trying. Show all posts

Monday, April 15, 2013

Good excuse

A guy bought a new Mercedes and was out on highway 2 for a nice evening drive. the top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.


As the needle jumped up to 140Km/h he suddenly saw red and blue flashing lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a Mercedes, “he thought to himself and opened her up further. the needle hit 150,160…


Then the reality of the situation hit him. ” what in the world am I doing?” he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him took his license without a word and examined it and the car.”


It’s been a long day,”said the cop “this is the end of the shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like doing anymore paper work, so if can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”


They guy thinks for a second and says,” last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”


Have a nice weekend,” said the officer



Good excuse

Sunday, March 31, 2013

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If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.


He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility …


Q: ‘Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?’


A: ‘No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.’


Q: ‘Officer, who provided this description?’


A: ‘The officer who responded to the scene.’


Q: ‘A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?’


A: ‘Yes, sir. With my life.’


Q: ‘With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?’


A: ‘Yes sir, we do!’


Q: ‘And do you have a locker in the room?’


A: ‘Yes, sir, I do.’


Q: ‘And do you have a lock on your locker?’


A: ‘Yes, sir.’


Q: ‘Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?’

A: ‘You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.’


The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.



If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

Monday, March 25, 2013

10 Sure signs she’s flirting

No.10 She’s chatting up your friend but keeps her eyes on you

I’m about to introduce you to a really ridiculous thing called The Cheeseburger Principle. Think about when you are hanging out with your friend and you see your friend eating a cheeseburger. Even if you are trying really hard not to eat meat or something, just by watching him eat that burger it makes you want it even more. Right? OK, so some terrible advice columnist took this so-called “principle” and applied it to flirting. So, yes. It is true. Sometimes a woman will flirt with your friend just to try to entice you, but she’ll make sure it’s always within your vision and direct most of the energy toward you. I’m not a fan of this. I think it’s backward, game-playing nonsense, but some people play this card.via: askmen.com


Flirting Signs


No.9 She keeps walking by


If it seems like she continues to walk by with apparently no sense of why she’s there, she’s there for you. She’s trying to get you to notice her with this obvious sign she’s flirting, and you need to say something endearing. By walking past repeatedly, perhaps out of her way, she’s telling you she wants your attention, but she’s making you work for it.via: askmen.com


Flirting Signs


No.8 She draws attention to her mouth


A woman’s mouth can be extremely seductive, and we’re fully aware of this fact. Some of the effective signs she’s flirting are: applying lip gloss, running her finger across her lip or using the straw in her cocktail instead of just sipping from the glass. There is a tremendous amount of flirtatious energy tied up in a woman’s lips. Lips are flirting tools that are both potent and effective.via: askmen.com


Flirting Signs


No.7 She singles you out


If a woman finds a way to get you away from the rest of the social gathering you may be in, whether that is a crowded bar of unfamiliar people or an intimate dinner party of friends, she is trying to tell you she wants to be alone with just you. We will use really odd excuses to get you alone sometimes, so don’t be thrown off by the unconventional nature of the request. If you are into it, go for it.via: askmen.com


Flirting Signs.


No.6 She mimics your body movements


For some reason, when human beings are interested or infatuated with each other, they begin to pick up certain traits from the other person. If she’s mimicking your mannerisms — the way you hold a drink or the way you’re sitting — she may very well be interested in gaining your attention. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all.via: askmen.com


Flirting Signs


No.5 She plays with her hair


While relatively simple and commonplace, in the right hands, a woman’s hair is a versatile weapon. When trying to get your attention, she may twirl her hair or let it cascade in front of one eye, in an attempt to create a sense of come-hither mystery.via: askmen.com


Flirting Signs


No.4 She touches you

If a woman is talking with you, casually at a party or a bar, and she finds a reason to touch you (that is not breaking her fall or punching you in the face), she is sending you a big, fat signal. This is the oldest, most obvious trick in the book. When she reaches out and lightly touches your forearm or shoulder, hand or wrist, you know you have a live one. You need to reciprocate because there are few clearer signs she can provide.via: askmen.com


No.3 She makes eye contact


Just like birds are attracted to shiny things and fly toward them, people tend not to be able to look away from something they find interesting and attractive. You can feel when a woman is eyeing you. She’s not always going to come up and talk to you, but if she keeps giving glances in your direction, glance back and see if anything connects.via: askmen.com


Flirting Signs


No.2 She enters your personal space


Personal space, by definition, is where others are not. When a woman enters this space, say, brushing past you with a glance and a smile, she’s inviting a response with this sure sign she’s flirting. The caliber and character of her invasion will give you cues as to how you should respond.via: askmen.com


Flirting Signs


No.1 She approaches you to talk

Her approach is her strongest flirting card. It allows her to maintain eye contact, play with her hair, lightly touch you and mimic your mannerisms, among other flirting techniques. If she has come over to talk to you, she wants to know what you’re all about. It’s the first step in an interview process called dating.via: askmen.com


Flirting Signs



10 Sure signs she’s flirting