If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility …

Q: ‘Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?’

A: ‘No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.’

Q: ‘Officer, who provided this description?’

A: ‘The officer who responded to the scene.’

Q: ‘A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?’

A: ‘Yes, sir. With my life.’

Q: ‘With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?’

A: ‘Yes sir, we do!’

Q: ‘And do you have a locker in the room?’

A: ‘Yes, sir, I do.’

Q: ‘And do you have a lock on your locker?’

A: ‘Yes, sir.’

Q: ‘Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?’

A: ‘You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.’

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

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The Manliest Meme of All Time

#15 Celebrate

Like a man — Ron Swanson style.

#14 Step on it

We shudder to think what his car looks like.

#13 Drunk all day

Except it doesn’t put him to sleep.

#12 Optional coat

Not so optional in his book.

#11 At the hospital

Well said, Hemingway.

#10 How do I look?

His manliness defies etiquette.

#9 Double order

Tackle dinner, tackle life.

#8 Low maintenance

Just scratch it off.

#7 Pass the butter

Just another meal at his table.

#6 For the ladies

Interested in a bubble bath?

#5 Pefect host

It’s good for circulation, he says.

#4 A true militia

Here comes the mass destruction.

#3 All in the family

Not a surprise, really.

#2 First date

With himself.

#1 Fashion advice

Bare is key to looking manly.

The Manliest Meme of All Time

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Weekly Top 5 Inked Girls

Sheila Nastazio

Born and raised in north america’s only french province ,in Quebec, Montreal’s Sheila Nastazio, get’s her first Tattoo at the sweet age of 17, even if most of her surroundings did not agree, she just did what felt right to her. She has always made her choices on her own and no one was and would be able to stop her from reaching her goals.

A recently graduated student in business management at Lasalle College, Sheila uses what she learned to achieve her goals of starting her own buisness.

With her unique look and classic feminine features, she’s been featured as a model internationally. Many of her pictures are available on this website and many more are to come, with her fierce attitude,skills and her beauty she’ll surely give you good reasons to come back. Via: sheila-nastazio.com

Shonda Laurelee Mackey

To whom it may concern:

Over the years Ive spent modeling, I have found myself and what I desire to do. My passion is not to just be your next sex symbol, my passion is for the art and for learning this trade. Im 100% for any shoot that can bring art and feeling to the table.

I love high fashion, I love crazy

Lets do this and leave a mark in this world

Please contact me directly if you are interested in booking me or need to reach me fast!  onetoughkitten@gmail.com

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shonda-M … 04?fref=ts

Facebook Personal:  https://www.facebook.com/ModelShondaLaureleeMackey

Twitter:                     https://twitter.com/ShondaLaurelee

Tumblr:                     http://shondalaureleemackey.tumblr.com/

Instagram:                @Queenofblood

Michelle Payne

South African World Traveller, Shoe Obsessed,Coffee-Dependant Chocoholic, Tattooed Poser, Face Painter, Master Procrastinator and PTW.

Faye Pacilla

I have been a performer since the age of 4. From modeling to acting to dancing and contortion, the stage is where I belong. My determination and free spiritied attitude has allowed me to push my own limits and excel in many different fields. I live life to have fun and be free, the camera, the stage and the audience have always given me a gateway to happiness, to finding a truth within myself. I am open-minded and bubbly, ready to take on any new challenge that comes my way, I am a freelance model. Featured and Published. Facebook: facebook.com/FayePacilla

Levy Tran

Name: Levy Tran (pronounced La Vie)
Nationality: American (my ethnicity is Vietnamese)
Hometown: San Jose, California
Measurements: 32C-24-35
Astrological Sign: Aries

Websites: 

- http://saylevy.tumblr.com/

- http://www.facebook.com/ladylevy

- http://twitter.com/MissLevy

Weekly Top 5 Inked Girls

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1970 Dodge Challenger R/T 440 Six Pack

This was one badass car that put out 425 horsepower. This has great lines and looks like one very smooth car from front to rear. For an additional fee you could get the hood scoops and really stand out.

1970 Dodge Challenger R/T 440 Six Pack

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A real man opens the car door for his wife… I did it while driving at 90mph

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband came into the kitchen.

“Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!

TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?

They’re going 2 STICK! Careful.. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!

You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?

Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget that. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”

The wife stared at him. “What is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”

The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”

A real man opens the car door for his wife… I did it while driving at 90mph

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How to Set The Mood

#12 Light the candles

It’s a tried and true way to set the mood. Candles provide the perfect mood lighting — slightly wavering and dim. Candlelight is extremely flattering, so don’t be afraid to light a few more candles!

#11 Guys, get with it

Gentleman, you always want ladies to dress the part but when will you ever learn that ladies would like to see you do the same yourself? Guys should get with it and invest in some snug and bum-fitting lounge pants for their lady loves to admire.

#10 Music to her ears

Soft, relaxing music is key to setting the mood. Pick the type of music that you both enjoy, but won’t randomly start singing along to. Forgo the cheesy soft music and pick something romantic like bossa nova or whatever strikes your fancy.

#9 Comfy is key

Luxurious-feeling bedding is important for a mood-inducing bedroom. To set the right mood for your romantic evening, opt for soft-to-touch sheets that you and your love will not want to climb out of.

#8 Scent of love

Certain natural scents are mood-inducing, like jasmine, vanilla, and patchouli. Find scented candles that will relax and feel romantic for both you and your special date!

#7 Massage is good

Whether it’s giving each other a nice, relaxing massage or getting a couple’s massage at a spa, massage is always good! This fail-proof activity is sure to relax both parties.

#6 Relaxation is key

Relaxation in general is crucial to setting the right mood. Whether it’s getting a massage or watching a movie together snuggled up on a comfy couch, make sure that you and your partner are both in the right emotional state for setting the mood.

#5 Choose sparkling

Bubbles make any mood feel more special and celebratory. Opt for sparkling water or cider — or wine — to give your evening a dash of elegance and romance. Sometimes there’s no need for a real reason to pop the bubbly!

#4 Sweet nothings

Whispering sweet things into each other’s ears is another key step in preparing the perfect bedroom mood! Whispering is both seductive and tempting, and can help both enhance and relax the mood.

#3 Texture counts

When decorating your bedroom and home, choose textiles with soft-to-touch textures — like high quality faux fur blankets, cashmere slippers, and satin robes. Soft modal-blend sheets can be nice against the skin, too!

#2 Unplug for love

Your mood-setting antics and relationship details are for you and your special someone — not for thousands of people worldwide! Turn off the smartphones and refrain from any social networking activity during this time. Unplugging makes for a healthy dose of intimacy.

#1 Girls, dress up

A little silk and lace never hurts in setting the right mood. Sometimes it helps if the guys would put in the effort to pick something nice out for their girls to wear. It’s a flattering gesture!

How to Set The Mood

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Awesome limited edition Lamborghini bike

Italian supercar brand Lamborghini has designed this awesome Bike together with bikes’ specialist BMC Switzerland. Created for the 50th anniversary of Lamborghini and to keep it exclusive it’s creating only 50 Bikes. Only 7kg in weight and a price tag of 25.000 euros.

Awesome limited edition Lamborghini bike

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Unbelievably Painful-Looking Body Piercings

#15 Fore-Real?

These forehead piercings look like they were installed with a nail gun. How do you sleep in those things?

#14 Wolverine

It takes a special someone to conceive of a piercing that’s just as painful for themselves as it must be for their friends. [Via:]

#13 Touche Internet, Touche

Before seeing this row of painful piercings we didn’t even know that “lime tree trapped in a man’s body” was a thing. And apparently this is the surgery you get for it. [Via:]

#12 Pedal On

Yes ladies and gentlemen, that is a bicycle pierced through that guy’s face. I don’t know whether to start with “how” or “why”. [Via:]

#11 Don’t Touch Me

Did you know that your fingertips are some of the most sensitive nerve-dense parts of your body? [Via:]

#10 Be Still

If this person makes one false move everyone watching is going to pass out. [Via:]

#9 Uvul-ugh

It’s hard to look at this without activating your gag reflex. We bet that piercer has seen more than one plate of cookies tossed. [Via:]

#8 Eye, Eye, Eye

If a particle of dust in your eye can make you blink and weep like a nutter what must an eyelid piercing feel like…every time you blink? [Via:]

#7 Headache

We don’t know exactly how you get those piercings in but we bet it involves a general anesthetic. [Via:]

#6 Smelly

These piercings aren’t what look terribly painful. It’s that cold, dry, burning sinus sensation this guy’s got to feel with every breath. [Via:]

#5 Tongue

Did you know that the tongue consists of eight muscles that are all very strong for their size? Did you also know that the tongue feels pain? Horrible lisping pain. [Via:]

#4 Ribbons

What if one of them snags? What if one of them snags?! [Via:]

#3 So Many…

When we were kids we used to count bottles of beer on the wall when we were bored. If counting piercings is the new version of that we’re going to go find something to do. [Via:]

#2 Busy

Which one of these painful-looking piercings do you think hurt the most? My bet is on all of them — every single one. [Via:]

#1 I Can’t Understand You

I didn’t even know you could pierce that. By the way, that little strip of skin is called the frenulum linguae and it’s extra hard to pronounce when you put a metal spike through it. [Via:]

Unbelievably Painful-Looking Body Piercings

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